tantrums — openness and letting the crap come out

7 Nov

openness. it is hard to do for some people. i know this because up until 4 years ago i was one of them. do you stop and think about why it is hard to just wear our hearts on our sleeves, tell the truth always, think of other people’s feelings and grow? looking back at my past 36 years and how i learned to close off instead of grow outward is a little scary to me.

i think we have all heard someone say ” i have always been this way and i am too old to change.” this statement now makes me feel sad and heavy for people like this. i have been in the trenches and holes where you feel there is no way out, looking for the blue sky and any hope of happiness. It can just feel unreachable at times. my transformation started small and developed over years. whatever area in your life you are feeling like you just don’t want to deal with it or that the feelings will just go away in time — i encourage you to stop and just sit with the feelings for a moment. whatever the feelings, grieve, get pissed or just reflect.

my young daughter had a rough night this evening. we had a full day of events and she was just plain exhausted, add an emotional trigger from her big sister and an argument sent her into a tizzy. she was filled with so much anger. she was screaming, crying and frustrated. i tried to calm her down and talk to her and she would have nothing to do with it. my actions made it worse. i sat there and realized that she just needed to vent and throw a tantrum. i told her to scream out into her pillow, hit it if she must and just kick and scream it out. let those emotions, every bit of them come out and empty your poor little heart. she did and it helped.

as adults we tend to hold things in and not deal with them or feel like throwing a tantrum and just simply can’t. come on, we are older, i am in my 40’s and could you imagine me on the floor kicking and screaming? maybe that is what we should do. let it out. scream at the top of our lungs, get pissed, take out our anger on a pillow and just feel, let the emotions come out.

our evening was filled with lessons. the lesson of being open, honest with our heart feelings and keeping an open mind to find a way to deal with our shit in a way that will be healthy and work for us.

next time i feel like i am overloaded and want to throw a fit i am going to. the thought of it cracks me up and might actually lighten the stress cause frankly the thought just makes me laugh and maybe that is all that is needed. if i need more of a vent, than i will kick and scream. i encourage you to express yourself in times of frustration. take a run, meditate, throw a fit or anything that will work. it is important to acknowledge those feelings and let them out.

i want to teach my children that their feelings are valid and that they are there for a reason. help them learn to understand their emotions, know how to properly deal with them and how to move past them.

we are learning day by day over here to let the crap flow and really live through it.

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