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tantrums — openness and letting the crap come out

7 Nov

openness. it is hard to do for some people. i know this because up until 4 years ago i was one of them. do you stop and think about why it is hard to just wear our hearts on our sleeves, tell the truth always, think of other people’s feelings and grow? looking back at my past 36 years and how i learned to close off instead of grow outward is a little scary to me.

i think we have all heard someone say ” i have always been this way and i am too old to change.” this statement now makes me feel sad and heavy for people like this. i have been in the trenches and holes where you feel there is no way out, looking for the blue sky and any hope of happiness. It can just feel unreachable at times. my transformation started small and developed over years. whatever area in your life you are feeling like you just don’t want to deal with it or that the feelings will just go away in time — i encourage you to stop and just sit with the feelings for a moment. whatever the feelings, grieve, get pissed or just reflect.

my young daughter had a rough night this evening. we had a full day of events and she was just plain exhausted, add an emotional trigger from her big sister and an argument sent her into a tizzy. she was filled with so much anger. she was screaming, crying and frustrated. i tried to calm her down and talk to her and she would have nothing to do with it. my actions made it worse. i sat there and realized that she just needed to vent and throw a tantrum. i told her to scream out into her pillow, hit it if she must and just kick and scream it out. let those emotions, every bit of them come out and empty your poor little heart. she did and it helped.

as adults we tend to hold things in and not deal with them or feel like throwing a tantrum and just simply can’t. come on, we are older, i am in my 40’s and could you imagine me on the floor kicking and screaming? maybe that is what we should do. let it out. scream at the top of our lungs, get pissed, take out our anger on a pillow and just feel, let the emotions come out.

our evening was filled with lessons. the lesson of being open, honest with our heart feelings and keeping an open mind to find a way to deal with our shit in a way that will be healthy and work for us.

next time i feel like i am overloaded and want to throw a fit i am going to. the thought of it cracks me up and might actually lighten the stress cause frankly the thought just makes me laugh and maybe that is all that is needed. if i need more of a vent, than i will kick and scream. i encourage you to express yourself in times of frustration. take a run, meditate, throw a fit or anything that will work. it is important to acknowledge those feelings and let them out.

i want to teach my children that their feelings are valid and that they are there for a reason. help them learn to understand their emotions, know how to properly deal with them and how to move past them.

we are learning day by day over here to let the crap flow and really live through it.

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knowing when to make shifts

6 Nov

mini shifting — the process of making little changes  in your daily life so you can change the course in your journey.

do you ever sit and really analyze your life? do you dissect it down and wonder why you reached where you are now, how you got on this new path and what it all means? i do this frequently. i am a virgo and a seeker. i have a tendency to analyze the crap out of things. usually to the death of a subject. i enjoy the nuts and bolts of how and why things work, and how to fine tune and get the  most out of every drop of life.

changes in your environment happen every day. changes with the kids,  material possessions, friends, and loved ones. change is needed to bring in a mix to stale energy and to get it flowing again. change really is good if you can be open to it and it’s lessons. my life has changed so much in the past few years that i allow myself now to just sit in it and embrace it with curiosity. what will this bring i ask myself and wait with wonder. sometimes it is painful and having to deal with an ex regarding financial issues, kids and some are joyous like a new relationship and realizing he is your soul mate. these changes are what define us in life. our reactions, our passions, or ability to shift through them.

it makes me think about driving up the california coast in a little sports car. as you turn corners and go around mysteriously beautiful bends you need to shift. change a gear so you can pick up speed or slow down and be a little more cautious.  without shifting you could potentially miss out of some amazing beauty or you could put yourself in a questionable situation.

mini shifting is just simply adjusting your situation and taking action at that time. this concept can be used in any situation in your life.

if you are thinking about becoming organized in your home or office — mini shift your time and spend 20 minutes just picking up the loose items around one room. do the dishes and clean up the counters before bed. clean up your workspace on your desk so you come in the next morning feeling relaxed and on top of things.

this mini shifting concept can be used to organize your thoughts and for making life plans. take a moment and shift with a 10 minute stretch or meditation. imagine yourself letting go of a situation that no longer serves you and you replace it with a thought that makes you happy. all of this shifting daily will change your energy pattern and bring new opportunities, power and energy into your life.

try it — you will see. starting small and making daily positive shifts will produce big results later.

becoming aware of how you learn

25 Oct

life is full of wonder and opportunities to better ourselves. there are a few ways of thinking when it comes to walking through this life. people are emotional beings and we react, engage, learn and grow differently.

the first being the survivalist.  these people believe that  life just happens to them.  they feel that they are at the mercy of daily struggles. they try to be positive and get through life by surviving, and they eventually become burned out and exhausted with life…passionless.

the next group of people are the best foot forward type. they are the people who are mostly positive and frequently make mini shifts towards happiness and self growth. these people are comfortable in their lives and pretty much can go on autopilot and have a fairly normal and fulfilling life. they experience seasons of change, hardships and they quickly bounce back and return to their routines.

the final group are the freedom seekers. these people believe that they mold and nurture their life. their outlook is one of making changes, being fulfilled, living in the now and turning life into an amazing journey that they can grow and learn from. life then serves them. they are always seeking to change, learn and grown. they have an appetite for life, abundance in every form and know themselves and their personal needs well. these people flow through life adjusting, thriving and are completely fulfilled in every aspect of their life.

which category do you fall in?

for the last 2o years i was of the survivalist type that was just hanging on by my fingernails. i then evolved into the best foot forward lifestyle and finally have become a freedom seeker. i have been through my share of struggles, life traumas and i did not know there was a better way to look at things. i have always been positive and hoped and prayed for the best but really just went a long for the ride.

you see my friends, it is all about perspective and how we learn behaviors. there are several ways that we learn and the amazing thing is that we can change our thinking at any time.

in order for us to move forward with learning we need to stop and take a look at how we process things. there are four learning styles. visual, auditory, kinesthetic and tactile.  there are also people who are multimodal. these people have the ability to process information in different ways — meaning they can adjust their learning styles to different situations.

my personal growth has been achieved by combining my learning style with the appropriate tools. i am a visual/kinesthetic learner. i need to be able to see it and repeat it myself. helpful tools for me are creative exercises, videos, checklists and books. dream boards are a big help for me as i can then see what my future will look like.

how do you learn? take a moment and think about it and then what do you do to give yourself the proper tools?  if you are an auditory learner you could attend lectures or classes, or meet with people and have discussion groups. if you are a kinesthetic/tactile learner you could learn some mental techniques and work with a coach. there are so many different ways to fill our toolboxes so we can go through life claiming our power and enjoying it.

take some time today and do a little focus exploration and see where you can shift your energy. learning new things will open your mind, your life and will leave you to live in the present moment.

making small improvements in your life daily will produce amazing results.

7 steps for getting through stress

5 Oct

stress is something we all have in our busy lives and sometimes it can get a little heavy. this morning as i sit in some of my heaviness i fall upon some simple steps that i personally use to get through it and wanted to share with you. it is a good way to set the intention for the day, afternoon and evening as well.

follow these simple steps and see what it does for you.

1 – sit in a quite place. it can be on the sofa, on the floor with your legs crossed, the bathroom floor, where ever you can get a moment to yourself without any distractions. close your eyes.

2 – breathe deep. breathe in and out and as you breathe in tell yourself you are breathing in energy that is pure and clean. breathe out and tell yourself that you are exhaling all negative and stressful energy. do this till you feel a little shift. when you start to feel really calm you can move to the next step.

3 – affirm yourself. once you are relaxed from your breathing, tell yourself that you are here right now and that is good. there is a lesson and a reason why you are here. you are ok.

4 – list your gratitude. take a moment and name a few things that you are grateful for. it can be anything, the rain, the kids, your ability to drive, etc.

5 – thought with intention. you should feel a really good shift by now. now imagine your life as you would like it. take a little daydream trip and imagine how you would like your life to be.

6 – make a choice. at this time you tell yourself that you will make the choice to be happy and live in the moment and not worry about what is going to happen tomorrow or next week. all we have is this moment and that you will be happy in this moment of growth.

7- be kind to yourself. remember to be gentle to yourself. life is what you make it. worry does not serve anyone. if it does not serve you or make you feel good — don/t have it in your life.

you can do this exercise as much as needed. three times a day if it will help, i do. it really is a good tool for mini shifting your attitude and taking back your moment. remember, every moment things change. we are all based off energy and those energy patterns can be changed at any time for positive or negative.

much love –

are you listening to your voice?

4 Oct

i am back with another engaging question for you this morning. do you listen and trust your inner voice? what is your first reaction when i ask you that?

let/s think about it for a moment. when that little voice goes off in your head do you stop and say “hi, thanks for the heads up” and keep doing what you are doing or do you stop, replay, restart and head off in a new direction?

that little voice is there for a reason. this voice is always centered around love and growth. this voice is the one that will help you through the tough spots in life, it is your companion, your support and your guide. this voice can take you to were you need to go for nourishment when you are struggling in the middle of a desert.

there is a another voice that pops up and you should be aware of that one too. this is the voice of your inner critic. the nasty nagging that will ask you why you think you can get healthy or why would you do that? this is your ego speaking and you will know it because it is there to tear you down and make you question your whole identity. when this not so fun voice comes into the picture just simply do this — “hello critic, there is no show for you today so i will call you when i need you. buh bye”. take it down! quick and by whatever means necessary.

loving and accepting yourself is about being honest with yourself, your needs and listening to your loving inner guide. it is not about being selfish at all. take the time to get to know that voice. next time you hear it stop and listen. learn to recognize it and know that you can trust it.

a quick recap — yes you hear voices in your head and these voices are ok and there is nothing wrong with you.

your inner guide is always loving, encouraging growth and will lead you to the other side. always nurishing and supportive. your inner critic is always downplaying you, controlling, and trying to question yourself and your abilities.

stop, breathe and listen and you will have a fulfilling life.

this print is available for download through my etsy shop.
note -[the colors are off here for some reason]

transparencies and reflections

1 Oct

there is an inner journey that we are all on and sometimes things are brought into our lives with more reason and purpose than we first see.

i have had many a discussions lately with a friend on choices, behaviors, and the looking inward to ourselves.  claiming our shit, carrying it and moving past our dysfunctions and the issues that tend to bog us down daily.

it makes me think about what is the end goal and how we just keep moving down our paths picking up things, putting others down and finally laying to rest when we are tired.  we feed our physical bodies, take our vitamins, and exercise. Do we take the time to feed our soul? What does that even mean really?

i looked at myself in the mirror today and i see a new person. every day i am renewed and i am becoming more beautiful because i am feeding my soul and it is starting to radiate out.  i speak truth, i speak tender, i speak with a gentle love that stems up from my core. i am in touch with myself , what is important and where i want to go on this path. passion and a deep love for where i am now. what do you reflect? who do you see when you look in the mirror?

i know today i am transparent in all that i do and that is calming. i am happy to be myself and all that goes along with that. deep breathes and long pauses define me and my life. it is in the silence that i gain strength.

to get to this place i just had to be open and let go of my need to fix and control. the need to get what i want when i want it. i can still have those things in my life but now i am open to a different timing than what i think is best.  how are you with your timing? do you feel restless in your life?

thoughts are power. emotions are the fuel.

how will you learn to become more open? how do you let go?

i want to investigate

29 Sep

i came across a darling video today that was the video diary of a girls pregnancy. i went and looked at her other videos because i adored her stuff so. (the panic room on vimeo)

i watched some wedding videos and it brought out some feelings in me. today has actually been all about feeling. feelings of hope for the future, acceptance of the past, and love for the now. upon more reflection i was filled with gratitude for where i am today. i feel today. i wake up and feel, breathe, love, rejoice, become sad, frustrated, and happy to be on this journey.

how many of us stop and take in our feelings every moment though? is the pain or sadness too much to deal with so we just skip though life one day to the next and just survive? are we missing out on the possibilities of our lives or settling for what we think should happen and what people tell us is normal?

i feel so alive for the first time. like one of my favorite songs by Switchfoot — Learning to Breathe

i wake up every day, thank and meditate on my source of strength which is god, the universe, my creator. i feel and open myself up like a blossom. i face my trials and pains. i pick myself up and move into the direction of love.

What do you do? do you feel that you are open or is it hard to deal with the emotions? just a little morsel to chew on.

learning to breathe lyrics –

Hello, good morning, how you do?
What makes your rising sun so new?
I could use a fresh beginning too
All of my regrets are nothing new
So this is the way that I say I need You
This is the way
This is the way that I’m

Learning to breathe
I’m learning to crawl
I’m finding that You and You alone can break my fall
I’m living again, awake and alive
I’m dying to breathe in these abundant skies

Hello, good morning, how you been?
Yesterday left my head kicked in
I never, never thought that
I would fall like that
Never knew that I could hurt this bad

So this is the way that I say I need You
This is the way that I say I love You
This is the way that I say I’m Yours
This is the way, this is the way