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tantrums — openness and letting the crap come out

7 Nov

openness. it is hard to do for some people. i know this because up until 4 years ago i was one of them. do you stop and think about why it is hard to just wear our hearts on our sleeves, tell the truth always, think of other people’s feelings and grow? looking back at my past 36 years and how i learned to close off instead of grow outward is a little scary to me.

i think we have all heard someone say ” i have always been this way and i am too old to change.” this statement now makes me feel sad and heavy for people like this. i have been in the trenches and holes where you feel there is no way out, looking for the blue sky and any hope of happiness. It can just feel unreachable at times. my transformation started small and developed over years. whatever area in your life you are feeling like you just don’t want to deal with it or that the feelings will just go away in time — i encourage you to stop and just sit with the feelings for a moment. whatever the feelings, grieve, get pissed or just reflect.

my young daughter had a rough night this evening. we had a full day of events and she was just plain exhausted, add an emotional trigger from her big sister and an argument sent her into a tizzy. she was filled with so much anger. she was screaming, crying and frustrated. i tried to calm her down and talk to her and she would have nothing to do with it. my actions made it worse. i sat there and realized that she just needed to vent and throw a tantrum. i told her to scream out into her pillow, hit it if she must and just kick and scream it out. let those emotions, every bit of them come out and empty your poor little heart. she did and it helped.

as adults we tend to hold things in and not deal with them or feel like throwing a tantrum and just simply can’t. come on, we are older, i am in my 40’s and could you imagine me on the floor kicking and screaming? maybe that is what we should do. let it out. scream at the top of our lungs, get pissed, take out our anger on a pillow and just feel, let the emotions come out.

our evening was filled with lessons. the lesson of being open, honest with our heart feelings and keeping an open mind to find a way to deal with our shit in a way that will be healthy and work for us.

next time i feel like i am overloaded and want to throw a fit i am going to. the thought of it cracks me up and might actually lighten the stress cause frankly the thought just makes me laugh and maybe that is all that is needed. if i need more of a vent, than i will kick and scream. i encourage you to express yourself in times of frustration. take a run, meditate, throw a fit or anything that will work. it is important to acknowledge those feelings and let them out.

i want to teach my children that their feelings are valid and that they are there for a reason. help them learn to understand their emotions, know how to properly deal with them and how to move past them.

we are learning day by day over here to let the crap flow and really live through it.


knowing when to make shifts

6 Nov

mini shifting — the process of making little changes  in your daily life so you can change the course in your journey.

do you ever sit and really analyze your life? do you dissect it down and wonder why you reached where you are now, how you got on this new path and what it all means? i do this frequently. i am a virgo and a seeker. i have a tendency to analyze the crap out of things. usually to the death of a subject. i enjoy the nuts and bolts of how and why things work, and how to fine tune and get the  most out of every drop of life.

changes in your environment happen every day. changes with the kids,  material possessions, friends, and loved ones. change is needed to bring in a mix to stale energy and to get it flowing again. change really is good if you can be open to it and it’s lessons. my life has changed so much in the past few years that i allow myself now to just sit in it and embrace it with curiosity. what will this bring i ask myself and wait with wonder. sometimes it is painful and having to deal with an ex regarding financial issues, kids and some are joyous like a new relationship and realizing he is your soul mate. these changes are what define us in life. our reactions, our passions, or ability to shift through them.

it makes me think about driving up the california coast in a little sports car. as you turn corners and go around mysteriously beautiful bends you need to shift. change a gear so you can pick up speed or slow down and be a little more cautious.  without shifting you could potentially miss out of some amazing beauty or you could put yourself in a questionable situation.

mini shifting is just simply adjusting your situation and taking action at that time. this concept can be used in any situation in your life.

if you are thinking about becoming organized in your home or office — mini shift your time and spend 20 minutes just picking up the loose items around one room. do the dishes and clean up the counters before bed. clean up your workspace on your desk so you come in the next morning feeling relaxed and on top of things.

this mini shifting concept can be used to organize your thoughts and for making life plans. take a moment and shift with a 10 minute stretch or meditation. imagine yourself letting go of a situation that no longer serves you and you replace it with a thought that makes you happy. all of this shifting daily will change your energy pattern and bring new opportunities, power and energy into your life.

try it — you will see. starting small and making daily positive shifts will produce big results later.

stirring of the senses

22 Oct

this photo brings all kinds of things to my mind; beauty, solitude, strength, growth and communion. i fall in love with the beauty of nature when i look at this. what an amazing universe we live in…the creation of all this beauty with the colors, shapes and textures.

it affirms in me to be open to changes in my life because they will bring character and depth. this beauty is unique, organic and a good example of life. on the surface we might all look the same but when you really investigate closer every crack, color, and bump tell a story.

life is gorgeous and intoxicating. let it in, take a deep breathe and feel it down in your soul. let it stir your emotions and take root. live in the now. be open. evolve and continue into your own masterpiece.

~ photo credits : I do not know who took this photo. I found it on pinterest with the link to this website It is not mine.

sweet morning love

24 Sep

this morning has me in a state of excitement, tingling, renewed and just plain giddy.

i had this nagging to go for a walk and of course i got a little snippy with my inner lovely self and had every excuse not to go. i started to put pressure on myself about all that needed to done this morning. i caved and went. in my mind thinking — ok there is probably some hidden message waiting for me out there. the lake is where they come through load and clear. I thought maybe something i have been wanting will be out there, very one sided on my end.

i ventured out with my music putting me into a trance, the sun shining down and the warmth caressing my face. i take in the smells of grass, flowers, dirt and the water. every single time i am out there i just feel good. it is my place.

i have been open about my struggles and this path i have been on for the past 6 months. i took the time to find myself and what i want to do for my career, life, happiness and so on. yesterday i received the needed confirmation that i know my route. the journey of  searching is over and now i know where to go. that in itself woke me to excitement this morning as i am working out the plan and details of my new path.

i also have been struggling with relationships and my need to feel like i have to be in one. i really am alright by myself and i like it but i do want more. i like sharing my life with someone. this morning just spoke truth to my heart and blew out any nasty thoughts of wanting and lack.

there is a tunnel that i love to walk through, it starts my journey into the park. as soon as i got through it i felt like i stepped into this grove of love and god himself was there. the power of the love and companionship that i felt in that moment. I did not even make it half way around and i had fallen in love with myself again, and eloped. I married myself this morning out at the lake. I know that sounds funny but the realization that i am just fine, i am all that is perfect just as i am  and i complete myself is huge or me. i talk about it and feel it most of the time but there is still that underlying loneliness feeling. it is gone. i am no longer lonely. It has completely left me. packed up and moved out. void.

i decided to celebrate this with simply saying hello to everyone that i saw. it was rather busy this morning too.  i must have been a site really. i had my “chicks rule” hot pink hat on (how appropriate) and i was beaming like a newlywed.

it then turned quickly to thinking and thanking for this luscious gift that was given to me. To think if i did not go this morning. But i did! It was not what i expected and so much better.

while i am doing my laps i start looking at  peoples faces. their body language and how they were holding themselves. i walked by this one woman and i felt her energy. it was sad, she needed loving support. i sent here that energy, loved her and hit her with it! i found myself doing this the rest of the walk. i just sent them loving words of affirmation and focused it reaching their heart.  i wanted to share this gift of direct connection my source, my God, my power and pass it along to them.

the more i gave the more i got back. in a smile, a hello, how you doing, a nod, a wave from a cute little old lady with her two friends. i did not know it was possible to feel that much love. i even gave love to the crow walking near me. you see we are all connected with this life force, this energy and i just got it this morning.

i am in a new journey now. i crossed over this morning. i will take the lessons i learned and carry them along and continue to just be me and all that it  means.

life is so good from where i sit.

and that sweet little lady that smiled at me and i waved and she waved back with the biggest of smiles — is forever burnt into my mind. a love connection that almost knocked me over.  i think she knew what i was doing. i should have run up and hugged her.

much love to you

the heat and samba da bencao

18 Aug

have you ever listened to a song and feel like you were transported into another place and time? i/m there now. it is hot outside, the heat brings comfort to my soul and my bones. something about the heat and brazilian music will put you in a mood.

I have listened to Bebel Gilberto for years now and talk about sexy music…whoa. Try her out if you have not heard of her cause it is just fabulous.

i have this song playing over and over and i am just in another world. i love it when music can do that to you. that and the cookie dough have spiraled me into a creativity frenzy. i am relaxed, alive and feeling a little frisky.

i am working on a new piece for my shop and another project idea for a client. this is what i do best. create and be in the moment. i am thankful for my abilities and this precious gift of being an artist.

i/m thinking that a nice glass of red would make this a perfect evening.

cheers my friends.

this morning

13 Aug

this morning holds simple treasures

a drive with a friend for morning coffee

the wind blowin my hair

the sun caressing my face

the fresh smell of summer and life in bloom fills the air

today the universe knew that my soul needs a break

today is filled with friends and lots of them

some old, some new, and some reconnects

i am breathing in

i am blessed

i am still and in love with the blessings that are here today

summer salads and good company

31 Jul

This morning our family went down the the farmers market in Dana Point and picked up our veggies and just had a simple morning together. We made the decision a few weeks ago that we wanted to go check out some farmers markets in the area and start buying more direct. The grocery store I do most of my shopping at offers a wonderful selection of unusual and gourmet style foods but their produce section really stinks.

We did some tasting, picked a nice selection of fruits and veggies and headed on our way home. Once home I made some fresh strawberry smoothies and my eight year old daughter wanted to make a nice salad for lunch. She did the slicing, dicing and came up with her own recipe. It had the best and most mouth watering lettuce, green onions, tomatoes, cheese, plums, balsamic vinegar and olive oil. It was so yummy. The plums were a great idea and really added a nice sweetness to the mix.

Well done my little biz. (I call her biz cause she is always so bizzy)