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some lessons are harder to learn…

8 Jul

hello all — it/s been a long time.

I just finished eating my dinner, a BRC with delicious avocado salsa and a tea trying to find the best words to start this post.

I have not spoken to you for a year and a half. Hard to believe it has been that long of a time. I would like to share my story with you and my desire is that it will empower another. This has been one of my hardest lessons to learn.

{the lesson} Being honest, and truly honest with myself. I am talking the brutally honest, standing up for yourself daily, stop making excuses, being true to your own power and journey. Yeah, that one.

This story starts a little before I went “offline” with my business and my life really. I was in a really great place spiritually, emotionally and felt ready to tackle the world and grow, grow, grow.

I met a man and it really changed my life. This relationship brought out so much pain, healing and growth for me. It lasted a year and a half and now amazingly I am back to where I started with much more wisdom, strength, acceptance, and power. This was a very hard lesson for me to learn and I found out that I am stronger than I thought, I will always choose me in the end, and love really is an emotion that comes and goes.

During the entire relationship we went to therapy, what is called Mindfulness and Commitment Therapy. It is a wonderful type of therapy and it has really transformed my life for the better. This type of therapy teaches you communication skills, taking care of your own issues, and how to sit in being uncomfortable. I learned that feelings come and go and that when you act on them you are not being grounded and will never produce lasting and healthy results.

So with this person the relationship was a whirlwind from the start. The passion was intense and blinded me to my intuition. This man fed directly into my need to be approved, loved and we met because the energy was of pure need for someone. Yes, I was impatient and really wanted to share my life with someone because I was too uncomfortable to be alone with myself and be patient for the “right” person to come to me. Needy attracted Needy. I want whole attracting whole.

During this turbulent relationship I became used to the drama and me hustling for his love and acceptance. Now I look back and think to myself what was I thinking? I do not even recognize that person today.

People talk all the time about soul-mates and how they are supposed to be the “love of your life” person. I believe there are many soul-mates and I found mine in him. A soul-mate can be a person that helps you grow or learn a certain life lesson. I say that because it took this person to bring up my co-dependency and create a growth opportunity for me. I had to learn to love myself the hard way. I have had two marriages, and another relationship prior and never had these lessons/fights/anger/etc come up with anyone else. He was the lucky one to bring it all up to the surface!

We parted, I have many wounds to tend to and a new love for myself that I never had known. FINALLY after 41 years on this planet to know that I am ok just the way I am, right now, today and that I don/t have to contort or over-do, over promise or be someone that I am not for someone to love me.

I know I will have many more lessons in my lifetime and I look forward to them because I am strong. My calling in life it to be a truth teller — my truth.

What is your truth?

Peace be with you my friends and I am glad to be back sharing my life and my journey with you all.

jess

 

 

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imagine it and it will come…

18 Oct

This last week has been a time of awareness and looking at what I attract into my life.  Life is energy, always swirling around us and we can harness that power. Over the past two years I have been making a strong effort to narrow down what I want my life to look like and who I would like in it.  It is good to revisit after some time, see where change is visible and where patterns are taking root.

In this  journey of new thinking, it is important that you let things go. I have learned that when I obsess about a thought or a want,  I would never see it manifest in my life. When I can set my target, dream, get excited and then let go and trust that it can come to me in anyway or form–then it will happen. I just recently manifested something huge into my life –something that I have been wanting for a long long time and now it is here.  It came because I truly let go of it and how it was going to come into my life.  Sure enough it was under my nose for a long time and one day it just walked in. It took time to be the right time. Meaning– some lessons I needed to learn before it could come.

This whole process is really extraordinary and blows my mind frequently. I have been practicing my creative envisioning and I will share them with you as they really do work. Do this daily and then let it go. Think about this thing you want in your life three times a day and see it in your mind like a movie. Stop trying to figure out how it will come and why it is not here yet.  Just don’t put your hooks in too deep and be open to change and the beauty of the process.

Here is what you do —

1. Sit somewhere quite and take a few cleansing breathes.

2. Imagine in your mind the thing you would like. Give it lots of details and feel like you are actually living it at that moment. Make your own little movie of your life. Dream like you did when you were a kid.

3. Now place that movie you imagined in a bubble. Take your arms and grab the bubble like you are holding a ball. Guide that bubble filled with your dreams down into your lap, imagine it entering your stomach and moving up through your body back up to your mind. Feel it in your body, your cells, imagine the images dancing around inside you. Tell yourself that this is your life,  it is good and already here. Imagine those images going back down through your body stopping and taking hold in your heart.

4. Put your arms up, with open hands pull and guide that energy out of your heart and throw it into the universe. You have now released it so it will come to you in the physical form. It will come if you believe that it is already starting to manifest and working it’s way to you. It takes time to come to you so don’t doubt and don’t expect it to show up the next day. It could take a week or a year.

Do this every day for 20 minutes to get some really amazing results. It is really a cool process. You can also write your dreams down on paper, or make a dream board for an added punch.

Another good thing to remember is that your mind can not tell the difference between reality and your envisioning. When you are feeling excited and grateful for something the manifestations become a reality.

Remember to have fun with it. Life should be joyful and we should be having a wonderful time creating on our journey.

just a little me

23 Aug

i had a delightful phone conversation this morning with a potential new client. i got off the phone with her and i looked down and i could not help but smile. for each new client i always take notes and write down key points about the conversation and what they are wanting to achieve. my notes in the past however, never looked like this. they were well organized, bullet pointed and boring. i guess because i would meet them face to face and my doodling would have been a distraction or would not come across professional enough.

well i am coming into my fullness. i look at how messy this piece of paper is and my doodles and my little prayers and affirmations on this page that i got from our conversation sings to my soul.


Wishcasting Wed: What do you wish to envision?

21 Jul
Topic posted by Jamie Ridler in Develop a  Practice, Wishcasting

This posting comes at an interesting and good time for me. My earlier post today was talking about how I don’t want to play with stress and fear anymore so this topic will round off my day well.

What I would like to envision?

My life as I know it most of the time — peaceful, abundant in love, health  and creativity. I would like to throw in that mix financial stability.

My changes/growth in the last six months have allowed me to live my calling but also required me to walk away from my cushy job with good perks and money. So I am envisioning and manifesting a well rounding life, a successful career and home life.

I took this picture on one of my walks. I call it sun bath. I can feel it’s warmth when I look at it. May you all feel the warmth of abundant love today.

special meaning

20 Jul